Strawberry Cream Cheese

I have a very specific plan for AP Statistics, which involves finishing the entire curriculum before Spring Break so that we can just review, review, review for 4 weeks afterward until THE BIG DAY - May 4th.

So, as you can imagine, I'm not a huge fan of snow days. They mess up my detailed schedule and they make me all curmudgeony and complainy and generally not fun to be around. Aside: It is awesome being a math teacher and getting to make up words sometimes. However, my kids think I make up lots of words that are actual words - like causation. They're pretty convinced I made that up and I cannot convince them otherwise.

Anyway, tomorrow a lot of the students at my school are taking the Algebra HSA, so non-test-taking students don't have to show up until 11:30. Because I'm evil, I'm forcing my Stats kids to come in at 9 am for two hours of Stats. Whine, whine, groan, groan mad faces, etc.

Then I told them I'm going to bring them breakfast. Faces lit up a little bit, and they seemed like they actually might show up. A student asked if I could bring strawberry cream cheese for the bagels. Sure, why not. I mean, I think the stuff is gross (just look at it! gah!) But if that's what they want then fine.

And they cheered. Seriously. I think I can get them to do anything if I bribe them with strawberry cream cheese.

Of course, now I have to go plan two hours of statistics - and wake up early to buy a LOT of donuts and bagels (and strawberry cream cheese, of course).

First Day! So sleepy!

I promised myself that I would post today (and more frequently) but I am just so. darn. exhausted. that I don't know how much this will make sense. Or if I will spell words correctly. Bare (bear?) with me please.

Why am I exhausted? Why thank you for asking! I will tell you:

Reason #1. It was the first day of school. My body is not used to standing and moving and having my brain work nonstop from about 7:15 am to 4:30. My feet kill even though I changed out of my completely adorable peep toe pumps into my super ugly "teacher flats" within 1 hour.

Reason #2. I am overloaded. I am teaching 3 different classes: AP Statistics, Honors Geometry, and Geometry. This means 3 lesson plans each day, 15 per week. Also, I volunteered to do this so can't really complain. I DON'T CARE. I AM HAVING A PITY PARTY. SHUT UP.

Reason #3. I have two other non-teacher duties: the coordinator of our AP grant and mentor teacher of the math department. I actually will not at all complain about either of those things because I really want to and like doing them. But they are another reason for exhaustion when I also have 3 preps.

Gah. I give up for today. I'm too tired and I need to watch the newest episode Mad Men, which just finished downloading.

I will write about actual teaching/students tomorrow (maybe).

Funniest thing said today:

Me: So, I've color coded everything about this class. Your folders are green, your objectives and topics are written in green on the whiteboard, the agenda for this class is written under the green geometry sign, when you leave class you return your green folders in the green crate, and of course, anything written in green on the calendar pertains to you. Oh, also, turn in work under the green Geometry sign.

Student: Dang miss. I can't even imagine what your house looks like.

This is mostly funny because my house is a MESS. A gigantic tornado of papers/clothes I try on and then don't wear. Also, within about 2 days these students will realize that I'm not actually organized (when I can't find their classwork... or my keys... or my pen which I just had... or my phone..or my brain). Fake it til you make it.

I'm sorry this doesn't make sense. Sleepy time now.

Teacher Appreciation

The Internet inexplicably stopped working at my house last week and won't be fixed until next week, so I haven't posted much. So here's a quick update before I run off to Hopkins.

Tonight is my last graduate school class! I graduate on May 21st. This is very exciting.

This week is teacher appreciation week. This means that students fill out "certificates of appreciation" and give them to teachers. My favorite "Thanks you for..." notes include:

Thank you for . . .

"Being the best AP Statistics teacher ever. You taught me so many great lessons, plus you restored my faith in all white people." HA!

"Never quitting like Mr. ___ did and always inspiring us with [SmallestTwinelicious] and your incredible swagger . . . its contagious. LOL."

"Trying to be funny and teaching us the value of math!" (I love the "trying" to be funny)

And, get ready for the tears:

"Just being yourself when you teach me. You show me that you really care about me going to college. You are by far the best teacher that I have ever had."

Needless to say, I feel appreciated.

Caesar Cipher Search (five times fast...)

I've been getting a lot of hits from people google-ing "Caesar cipher." For that reason, and also because it's so cool, I'd like to direct you to the University of Southampton's National Cipher Challenge. The "teacher's pack" is full of lesson plans, worksheets, and a printable cipher wheel.

Check it out: http://www.cipher.maths.soton.ac.uk/rules.html

Caesar Cipher

There were three days left before Spring Break and I had just finished a unit in geometry, so rather than start anything new, I decided to teach my geometry kids some cryptography.

Of course this went well, since every kid (and most adults, I would assume) think basic cryptography is cool. We made cipher wheels and talked about the enigma machine and I got the most rapt attention I have EVER received while teaching.

After teaching simple Caesar ciphers (where you basically just shift the alphabet), I challenged the kids to write sentences and told them that I could break any of their codes (there are only 25 possibilities for Caesar ciphers - they're really easy to break - and I told them this, but the kids think I am AWESOME). Messages included:

-Yay! Spring Break is almost here!

-Ms. Twine is crazy

-First period is the best math class

-Math is my favorite subject

And then, I found an anonymous note left on my desk.

Y TUSYTUT JE JQAU IJQJI

Which is, decoded: I decided to take stats.

I have no idea who wrote it, but someone in my fifth period geometry class has decided to take my AP Stats class next year. AND THEY TOLD ME IN CODE. I don’t think it gets cuter than that.

Get Off My Lawn!

Though it’s spring break this week, I just can’t get myself to calm down and take time off.

For example, on Saturday I went out to dinner at my favorite restaurant, Alexander’s Tavern (Tip: Order the Macaroni and Cheese from the kids menu – that plus a gin and tonic = absolute heaven). I walked past Max’s on the way home and saw what looked to be a fight brewing outside and I almost ALMOST walked right over there to tell those people to stop fighting and I was ready to break it up. And then I became sane again and remembered that I was not in school. And also that the last time I broke up a fight I ended up on the ground.

I also almost ALMOST told a kid at the mall yesterday to take off his hat.

Someday soon sanity is not going to prevail and I’m going to get myself in trouble.

Seven Reasons Why Today Sucked

1. I woke up really early to drive a friend to the airport before work. Before leaving, I printed out some worksheets and my lesson plans for today, since I am out of ink at school. I forgot the worksheets at home.

2. Realized I had forgotten worksheets at home when I arrived at school an hour after leaving my house. Drove home to get them. When I got home, I remembered to take out the recycling. But then I forgot the worksheets at home for a second time.

3. Got to school and made this realization. Shook the ink cartridge and got the last dregs of ink out of it. Printed out my worksheet and saw that I had only 9% of my battery power left on my laptop. Went to get my laptop charger from my bag and realized I had left it at home.

4. During my planning period, I went home (again) to get the charger. Also went to CVS to get ink. Got a parking ticket.

5. Lunch period. As usual I have about 10 kids in my classroom hanging out because they don’t want to go to the cafeteria. Two boys get in a fight, and I see boys punching each other for the first time at school (also, maybe in my life?) I break it up and get knocked down in the process.

6. Another crappy thing happens during 6th period that I can’t write about because it would be TMI, even for an anonymous blog.

7. At the end of the day I’m called down to the office. I had forgotten to go to my pre-observation meeting.

So yeah, today sucked. I drove home completely ready to get in an accident. I mean, the day isn’t over. There’s plenty of time for this to be an eight or nine reasons why today sucked post.